4 Point Apple Muffins That Don’t Taste Like Ass

Where the hell are my manners?!  Thank you for all your sweet comments on my new hair cut – so far I’ve been able to style it – so instead of taking 2 minutes to get ready for work, I am now up to a whole five minutes, including make-up. 😀

There is a reason I don’t bake very often.  Simply put, I am not a good baker.  On more than one occassion, I’ve completely left out the sugar and/or flour.  Um, those tasted like ass.

If I try to “healthify” them, Tony is the first to know – and when I have him try one of my creations, he pretends to take a bite and then throws it to the dog. 

So I made these muffins yesterday morning.  I added a bit too much soy milk, so instead of 12 muffins, I got 15.  And they were super moist – almost to the point where you couldn’t hold it – so I took them out of the muffin tin – put them on a raised cookie rack on a baking sheet, turned off the oven and let them “cook” for about 10 more minutes.

These are delicious!  I even sent Tony an email when I got to work letting him know he could help himself, and his reply was “these are good and don’t taste like ass.”

Biz’s Apple Muffins (loosely based on Ellie Krieger’s)

  • each muffin is 4 points – two muffins is 8 points


  • 3/4 cup brown sugar + 2 tablespoons for topping
  • 1/4 cup mixed nuts (I used sunflower/slivered almonds)
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1 cup white flour
  • 1 cup wehat flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/8 cup olive oil
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 cup no sugar added applesauce (could use regular, its just what I had)
  • 3/4 cup soy milk (I used 1 cup which is too much)
  • 1 peeled and sliced fuji apple

This may be another reason why I don’t bake very often – I am a one bowl baker.  I mixed all the dry ingredients, then added the rest of the ingredients and then just mixed until incorporated.  Since I added too much soy milk, my batter was pretty thin – I used my 1/3 cup measure and got 15 muffins.  Bake at 400 for 15-20 minutes.

I also didn’t have any brown sugar, so I had to make some – just mix 1 cup of sugar with 2 tablespoons of molasses, and combine with a fork – done!

It was HOT yesterday – I think we broke a record – when I got back from my walk at lunch, weather.com said it was 86 degrees – I can’t stand when it goes from winter to summer.  A sweaty 50 minutes later I was ready to eat my lunch!  Another throw stuff on a plate – leftover bbq chicken, hummus, carrots, strawberries, banana, and later on I had another pear and apple – my whole lunch was only 6 points!

Our local grocery store had marinated pork taco meat and I’ve had taquitos on my brain since I saw them on Tami’s blog.  While she baked hers, I deep fried ours – each taquito is 4 points and totally worth it.  They did split a little in the fryer -the only real way to get them not to break is to dip the corn tortillas in hot oil, but I skipped that part.  My plate was 14 glorious points and totally worth it. 😀

I used a tooth pick to hold them together

My plate – 3 taquitos, 1/3 cup yellow rice – and lot’s of Tabasco added after this picture!

I am not going to lie, these were delicious and worth the points.  😀 

I want to thank you guys for sharing all your health insurance stories with me – so crazy!

Stats for Tuesday:

  • 35 points with wine
  • 50 minutes walking
  • average blood sugar 133

I am off to make stir fry for my lunch –  tonight is Hanging with Hannah!  After dinner we are going to see the bridesmaid movie – its kind of like a female version of the Hangover – Hannah wanted to see it, so I am sure we’ll have fun.  And it’s her last day of college until fall!  That really went by fast.  See you tomorrow 😀

It’s Bagel Wednesday – yippee!  Have a great day. 😀


27 thoughts on “4 Point Apple Muffins That Don’t Taste Like Ass

  1. I’m totally tryingt those non-ass muffins. They sound great! And with high praise like that, how can I NOT make them! 🙂

  2. I’ll be interested to hear your review of the bridesmaids movie…it’s either going to be hilarious or awful!

  3. You and Tony totally crackle me up! I did the same thing to a batch of muffins I’m trying to perfect b4 posting the recipe–adding too much milk. I had to bake them twice as long as usual to cook off some of the liquid and they looked just like yours-flat and a little sunken in the middle. I’m hoping this next time is the last time I’ll have to tweak it–it’s so close to perfection! Taquitos sound so good–I’ve never made them! Unless you count heating them from frozen, and those things are not so great.

  4. You got me again! Giggling at the title of this post!

  5. Those muffins look awesome! 86 degrees is awesome weather! I’m jealous!

  6. 1. The title of the blog post might be my favorite title of any blog post of all time.
    2. Now I want taquitos.

  7. I missed the post with the new do….it looks so great on you Biz!!! I love it and I think it makes you look younger! ( always a plus!)

    I love to bake much more then cook. I can’t say why. LOL Muffins sound and look great!

  8. I want to see the bridesmaid movie SO bad! You have to let us know how it is. Your baking stories crack me up 🙂 Glad these muffins “didn’t taste like ass” hahahah. They actually look very yummy. I love fruit in baked goods. mmm Mexican. Now you’ve got me craving it again! I think we need another cinco de mayo 😉

  9. I almost spit out my coffee when I saw your post title…thanks for the AM LOL’s! 🙂

    I stink at baking….so I totally understand! 🙂

    Those taquitos look SO GOOD!!! OMG! I’m gonna salivate all day because of those! lol

  10. These muffins look excellent! I just love Ellie Krieger. I have yet to make a recipe of hers I didn’t like.
    I love tasting plates. They are always my favorite to eat!

  11. I LOVE taquitos. Don’t eat them very often, but I agree, totally worth the calories/points.

    I want to see the bridesmaids movie, too – thinking about taking my mom to go see it when she’s here next week. Have fun Hanging with Hannah! 🙂

  12. Ha you’re so funny! And every thing on this post looks delicious!
    The movie sounds cute. I LOVE the Hangover and can’t wait for part II. I’ll go see it that day!

  13. LOL – Love the title!
    Adding these to my must try list!
    Have fun hanging with Hannah – what a great relationship you have with her. So lucky!

  14. “that don’t taste like ass” LOL I hear you – some things just aren’t ‘healthifiable.” Yeah. That’s a word. haha

  15. I LOVE the titles of your posts!!!!!! Have fun Hangin’ with Hannah!!!!

  16. Hahahahah I love your title!!!

  17. I thought this was supposed to be a family blog. I didn’t sign up for this filth.

  18. Your post title made laugh out loud. Too funny! The muffins look great, but what I really want is your lunch [minus hummus] Dang that just looks so refreshing.

  19. Love your muffins (I’m kinda a muffin freak, always coming up with different combos) and love your taquitos. My husband and I were just saying today that we both have a hankering for some Mexican!

  20. Nice! Not tasting like ass is always a high priority on my list for muffins! (Or any other food for that matter!) 🙂 Loved Joe’s comment. LOL

    I’ve been thinking about those taquitos ever since I saw them too! They sound awesome!

    Have fun with Hannah!

  21. The muffins look great! Even though they are healthy, I’m pretty sure I’d eat way too many. I loved baked goods so much! Maybe I can scale the recipe down to just make two or something.

  22. Hahaha! I don’t ever want to know what an ass tastes like…but I would love to have a bite out of those lovely muffins. 🙂

  23. Joe’s comment cracks me up! You have such a fun family! The muffins looks great too!

  24. Biz, you officially win the award for best blog post titles. 🙂
    I can’t wait to see how you like the movie – I’m going with a bunch of friends in a few weeks to see it!

  25. Thanks for the shout out – I should have known you would deep fat fry them! Don’t tell my family how good they were cooked in a vat of hot oil! I have them thinking baked ones are the way to go!

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