Guilt

is an invisible blanket I wear on an almost daily basis.  Almost all of it is self-imposed and I’ve been like this for years.  I am the quintessential people pleaser, didn’t matter if I wasn’t happy, but if everyone else around me was, then I considered that a success.

But I am older now, and I just want to put that blanket in a bonfire and set it on fire.  I know I cannot control the people around me and trying to do so isn’t making me happy, so I just have to let it go.  Do you think I can?

So I am returning My Bizzy Kitchen to rainbows and butterflies again, and talk about what makes me happy – cooking! 😀  Thank you though for all the virtual hugs and emails – I sincerely appreciate it. 😀

Over the weekend I made a new dry rub for a small boneless pork roast.  It was delicious!

Wet Rub for Pork – 2 PointsPlus for the rub

  • 2 teaspoons olive oil
  • 1 tablespoon stone ground mustard
  • 1 tablespoon fresh rosemary, finely chopped
  • 1 teaspoon minced garlic
  • salt and pepper

I let the roast sit on the counter for 30 minutes before grilling it – then spooned the mixture over the roast – a tablespoon of rosemary might seem like a lot, but it mellows when its grilled and isn’t too overpowering.

I bought a ton of fruit over the weekend – I was happy to find raspberries and blackberries for just 1.99 a pint.  Breakfast was an egg white open sammie on wholegrain bread and a cup of raspberries and blackberries – only 6 Points for this whole plate. 😀

We had a chance of rain off and on yesterday, so I decided to walk instead of bike – it started out as a light drizzle, but then just got humid – I got in a nice 55 minute walk at lunch.  Lunch was leftovers again – leftover chicken from my last Friday grill at my office – they morphed into chicken tacos with a peach and a pear on the side – the pear was amazing, I threw the peach out – ew.  Lunch comes in at only 7 PP.

I had defrosted some sort of “mystery” meat.  I am the worst at labeling frozen food – I always think “Oh, I’ll remember what this is.”  Um, that hardly ever happens.  I’ve been known to bring homemade marinara to work for lunch, when I thought it was roasted red pepper soup.

So I couldn’t tell if the meat I pulled out to defrost was a chuck roast, or what, so I was pleasantly surprised that it was a sirloin steak. 😀  I served it with corn on the cob and canned baby peas.

cook the steak to 125 degrees and rest for at least 10 minutes for medium rare

I just happened to get July’s issue of Bon Appetit so I was reading that as I grilled last night – the cover story was “how to grill the perfect steak” and I love how it said “salt and pepper – the little black dress of beef – is all a steak needs.”  I couldn’t agree more.

And while reading Bon Appetit I found a recipe I need to recreate (sans the grape tomatoes).  Why have I not had halloumi cheese before?  Grilled halloumi cheese with watermelon and basil-mint oil – yum!

It was a day late, but here is the t-shirt I got Tony for Father’s Day – he actually sent me the link as a hint – sorry for all the vegetarians who may read my blog!

Stats for Monday

  • 31 points (including wine)
  • 55 minute walk
  • average blood sugar 129

Come back tomorrow to see what I made with grilled butternut squash – its delicious!

Hope you have a great day! 😀

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38 thoughts on “Guilt

  1. I’m a people pleaser too (and was raised Catholic) so I totally understand the blanket of guilt. Send it packing!!!

    Where did you get that shirt? Dave would wear it with pride for sure!

  2. Biz, I have been a people please for all or most of my 54 years. If you can burn that baby before you become me, DO!!!!! Do what makes your heart sing! It is, after all, your life, your blog!

  3. I understand the guilt. I am a major people-pleaser. It’s fine and good to please people sometimes, but not always under all conditions with no regard to anything else. Great job letting go of the guilt! I really need to improve at that.

  4. i’m a total people pleaser too, i totally get the guilt. i hope everything works out!

    can i come grill with you? everything looks so good. i’ve never had halloumi, but it looks incredible with those grill marks!

  5. Feeling guilty is like rocking in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
    You sure can make healthy look fabulous.

  6. You little grilling wonder!!!

    Love everything about the post (in fact, if you read over my post today, I talk about my garden… I have the most wonderful patch of Rosemary right now and a pork loin in the freezer that is calling me! Hope you add this to erecipecards. SPeaking of which, i did a small edit job on your profile so that your user name shows up with a link to your blog on all your submissions.

    BUT…

    Really??? 2 points for the rub??? What is on that that isn’t free points? The mustard maybe? Sounds high to me, maybe why my ass is so big… but I digress…

    And the grilled cheese… please do a more detailed “how to” on that one!

    And I will continue to send out virtual hugs

    Dave

  7. Grilled BN squash? What a good idea! I’m totally doing that! Sorry to hear about the guilt. HUGE virtual hug from me to you. Summer fruit totally rocks. Bummer the peach was a bust. If I could send you some local SC peaches without them getting all bruised and old, I would!

  8. As always you leave me salivating! 🙂

  9. I brought my Bon Appetit to work today to read during lunch 🙂 I hope I get to it and the doctors don’t yap through our lunch!! Unlikely, but I’ll get to it sooner or later! I was very disappointed with Cooking Light this month. All the recipes were boring. I will happily spend 100 calories more on a dish that has some flavor!!!

    halloumi cheese – sigh. It’s soooo good. I’ve only been able to find it at Whole Foods, though.

  10. One of my best guy friend’s (who lives in NY but is from AL and drives a truck) has that on his car – YES, a bumper sticker. It’s hilarious. He’s such a conudrum that it cracks me up.

    That pork rub looks outstanding!!

  11. I know exactly what you mean about the guilt and trying to please everyone but myself. Can I throw my guilt blanket in the bonfire with yours?

    Love the shirt you got for Tony!

    Have a great day!

  12. I used to feel guilt all the time and still do to some extent. Marrying a guy who never feels any guilt and starting to take care of myself these past few years has definitely helped. I don’t know if it will ever go away fully, but it can be subsided at least. Self-imposed guilt just hurts you!

    Halloumi is a miracle cheese! I’ve grilled it with cherries before and loved it! The salty cheese and the sweet fruit go amazing together!

    I’m a hugger so you get another virtual hug! *hug* 🙂

  13. How funny–I have that same recipe bookmarked in my Bon Appetit! I discovered halloumi two years ago and have been hooked ever since!

  14. I missed yesterday’s post somehow and was like “what is Biz talking about???” until I went back to see if I missed something. Sorry things aren’t sunshine and rainbows in your house right now, but I’m also glad that you’re not going to blame yourself. BTW, I gave you a blog award today! Come on over to claim it. 🙂

  15. You can do it, Biz! I’m also a people pleaser and I feel exactly the way you do. I’m ready to get rid of this “blanket” once and for all!

  16. I love that shirt!

    Dropping your people pleasing ways won’t be easy, but I’m glad you are going to try. And hey, if it gets too crazy, you can always hop a plane and fly out to Texas – there are lots of people here who would love to see you!

  17. *raises hand* Guilty here, too. I’m the people pleasing-just-want-everyone-to-be-happy-and-get-along-hates-confrontation type. For me, unfortunately, that burden translates into eating. Lots. But, I’m working on it and I know we’ll both get better about it as we get older! Let me know when you stack up the logs…I’ll bring the lighter 🙂

  18. People pleasing is difficult and I am afflicted…my hubby on the other hand most of the time could care less….we make an interesting pair 🙂 I LOVE your pork recipe…I was just thinking about doing pork chops on the grill and thought that I should come see what recipes you have….I might try this as a rub on those! Thanks!
    Have a good day…..

  19. That pork looks sooooooo good! Sorry to hear you’ve been having a tough time lately – you’re awesome and you can totally beat that guilt!

  20. M.J. Jacobsen

    Good for you Biz, burn that blanket! I also struggle with this, and know how hard it is just to admit it.
    My hubby would love that shirt, he has one that says “I love animals…….they taste good.” I’m kinda embarrassed when he wears it though! 🙂

  21. everything looks so delicious! my mouth is watering!

  22. yes you can! in fact, i hope i can too 😉 love that rub… and grilled butternut, hello lover 🙂 **hugs**

  23. You totally can do it – you can’t feel guilty about how others feel. 🙂

  24. Onwards and upwards! Glad today is a new day full of possibility 🙂

    Also just have to say (my 15-year old self is totally about to shine through)…the picture of the squash is totally x-rated (depending on who you ask)…and I kind of love it 😉 Made me LOL when I saw it…yes, this is maturity for you right here 🙂

  25. I try to be a people pleaser but realize that doesn’t really work all the time. You should go for it!
    Everything looks delicious!
    Can’t wait to check back to see that delicious butternut squash! Yum!

  26. I just caught up on your last post. It’s hard to stay out of it when two people you love don’t get along. But I think in the long run it’s better for them to work it out… And it’s so important to make sure YOU are happy! 🙂 And I totally understand making your blog your “happy place.” That’s what I do for the most part. It’s my place to focus on the positive things in my life. But if you want to share, we are here!

    We don’t have a grill right now, and the pic of the grilled butternut squash makes me want to run out and buy one! 🙂

  27. I am SUCH a people pleaser. I had a moment yesterday when a co-worker was trying to screw me over and I had to put my foot down. It was hard for my people pleasing self, but it made me happy as a result. I’m sure she’s pissed, but that’s her problem, not mine 🙂

  28. Oh hugs girl! I am virtually hugging you right now! We love you and glad your back to what makes both you and I happy- cooking! This food looks insane! So delicious and so perfect for summertime!

  29. Burn baby burn. Let that guilt go. you can do it. The steak is fab and I agree salt and pepper is all it needs. Oh lord I am HUNGRY!

  30. Let go of the guilt…it is not worth it. All of the meat looked fabulous, I am starving.

  31. You can burn that blanket. I grew up catholic, so I know all about guilt! It just takes practice over and over and over. You will get there. Put yourself first all the time. When you do that, it isn’t selfish – it just allows you to be able to help others better when your own needs are met.

  32. Weighting For 50

    Glad you are doing your best to let go of the guilt Biz. It is MUCH easier said than done!!! Take care of yourself!!

  33. Tee hee hee! Love the shirt!!
    I know what you mean by guilt…but as a Christian I’m learning to let go of the daily guilt. My motto is to live for God only, and to please God is my joy. No guilt in that.
    I think the best way is to be happy yourself, and get people following your self-happiness. Can’t change them, let them change themselves by following you!

  34. Unless you’re Jewish, you really can’t do guilt. They have it down to a science! 😀 So kick it to the curb, and YOU be the happy one for a change.
    We don’t want butterflies and rainbows, we want the real biz-ness ha.
    I loved all the food on this post, except the meat! And that shirt made me LOL!

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