I know why I got fat.

My alarm went off at 6:00 a.m. yesterday and I quickly turned it off.  Shit that’s early.  By 6:10 I knew if I didn’t get my ass out of bed, the gym would just be a thought and not my reality.

But it’s dark out at that time.  And my down comforter was tucked under my chin and my husband had already reached over and snuggled me to him.  I didn’t want to get up.  But I did.  😀

It’s just a short 10 minute drive to the gym, and by the time I got there the sun was starting to rise.

 I ended up doing 45 minutes on the elliptical, and 100 sit-ups.  I brought my work clothes so all I had to do after showering was driving home, scoop up my food for the day (already prepared thank you very much) and grab a travel mug of coffee for the road.  In my haste I forgot my camera, but breakfast was a Biz staple . . . the breakfast sammie (thanks Google images!)  With my cinnamon raisin english muffin as my pre-workout fuel, and the breakfast sammie, breakfast totals 12 points.  I only ate one though. 😀

There were a lot of people out of our office because of Columbus Day, so it was a very productive, albiet quiet, day at work.  The weather was stunning – 72 degrees when I went on my lunch walk.  I went 2.7 miles in 45:34 minutes.  It’s sad to see half the trees without leaves already, still a few pretty ones though!

For lunch I had my grown up spaghettios and meatballs – I need to refigure this recipe in fatsecret.com, because I don’t think it calculated it right – when I put the recipe into eTools it comes out to 5.5 points a serving – I’ll let you know when I redo the calorie calculations.

I had a serving of soup with a dinner roll on the side for 9 points.  My soup was sans the cheese – stealing my picture from yesterday since I didn’t have my camera.

It made a lot so I brought the whole container.  When I asked my boss if she wanted some homemade soup for lunch her response was “I’ll just heat up a frozen dinner.”  What??!!  That’s okay – more for me. 😀

So I have been interested in reading Marisa’s journey on her getting on better terms with food and her constant battle with eating healthy, to binging, to figure it out, and sometimes repeating the same mistakes over and over.

While I know the reason I started to gain weight is that once you stop being an athlete, turns out you can’t eat Suzy-Q’s for breakfast (a daily occurrence) pizza and giant chocolate chip cookies anymore.

But after I had Hannah, and her father basically rejected both of us, I knew if I had a layer of fat around me, no one would want to date me so I couldn’t get hurt again.  It wasn’t until Hannah was 7 that I decided I needed to get healthy for me, and when I lost the 70 pounds and loved myself, was when love found me.  (I love you Tony!)

One of the great things is that Tony always tells me I am beautiful and that if I want to lose weight its only because I want to.  I am pretty sure I could stay 159 pounds the rest of my life and he would love me just as I am.

But I know I’ll feel better in the 130’s, and just have to put one foot in front of the other, day in and day out, and I will get to my goal.  Like yesterday, I didn’t sleep in, I walked at lunch and before 1:30 in the afternoon I’d already exercised 90 minutes.  Now I just need to keep that intensity up this week and see how that reflects on the scale.

I do know my body is getting smaller – a few of my size 12 pants are getting lose – in fact I wore a pair of jeans to work last week that were really form fitting, and someone said “you are getting skinny!”  I’ll take it. 😀  It helps when you wear clothes that fit, right Helen?

Dinner was one of my favs – Chili Mac using my buffalo chicken chili recipe.  Out of the 645,300 pageviews I have so far on this blog, that one recipe accounts for 45,000 pageviews alone!

However, my buffalo chicken chili is a tad on the spicy side, so I decided to tweak the original recipe to fit a general audience (i.e. people who can’t eat hot shit).  The changes I made are in red.

Best Buffalo General Public Chicken Chili by Biz  (printer friendly version here)

  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts
  • 2 large carrots
  • 3 stalks celery
  • 1 large red pepper
  • 5 cloves of garlic
  • 5 tablespoons of chili powder (3 tablespoons of chili powder)
  • 2 tablespoons ground cumin
  • 1 tablespoon paprika
  • 1/2 cup Frank’s Hot Sauce (left this out completely)
  • 2 (15 oz) cans tomato sauce
  • 1 (15 oz) diced tomatoes
  • 1 (15 oz) black beans, drained
  • 1 (15 oz) chili beans in sauce (do not drain) (usually use hot beans, used mild instead)
  • salt and pepper to taste

Put chicken breasts in food processor to grind up – if you can find ground chicken breast, you can use that too.  Heat oil and add ground chicken and cook about 10 minutes on medium heat until no longer pink.  Rinse out processor and add carrots, celery, garlic and red pepper and puree.  Add to chicken mixture and cook about 5 minutes until veggies start to soften.

Next add the rest of the ingredients, put stove on simmer and cook for 1 hour.

Nutrition Per Cup: 239 calories, 3.4 fat, 29 carbs, 7.5 fiber and 23.5 protein.

Good points:  low in saturated fat, high in fiber,  niacin, potassium, vitamin A, vitamin B6 and vitamin C!

Tony is my spice barometer, and he loved this – just a tiny bit of heat from the chili powder – this would be great for a crowd because everyone could spice theirs up with sliced jalapenos, hot sauce, etc.

I opted for homemade tortilla chips for dippers with mine instead of the elbow macaroni, and of course added some sliced pickled jalapenos to mine  – dinner comes in at 12 points.

So what kind of eater are you?  Emotional, fly by the seat of your pants, planner or just simply an overeater?  I still think I emotionally eat sometimes 10% of the time, and I don’t eat always because I am upset or anything, sometimes I just am bored, and want a salty crunch, ya know?

I am VERY proud that I haven’t had any salty snacks at bed time in three weeks – go me!

Stats for Monday:

  • 45 minutes elliptical, 100 sit ups at the gym
  • 45 minute walk at lunch
  • 33 points
  • average blood sugar 144

Let’s make it a great day!  I am off to . . . walk before work. 😀

31 thoughts on “I know why I got fat.

  1. Good for you on the bedtime snacks! That will make a huge difference.

    Nice on the exercise, glad you got your butt up and off to the gym!

  2. I am also following Marisa’s journey. I have always been on the heavier side since I was young. I attribute it to growing up in a household where eating more was better and in a way expected. We were offered seconds before we even finished our first helping. I never learned the concept of portion control and that followed me to my adult years. My weight increased steadily throughout college and I believe that much of my eating during that time was emotional eating. Now my worst habit is eating out of boredom especially in the afternoon.

    I make no excuses for my weight. I don’t blame anyone but myself. I know how it got there and I know exactly how to take it off. I know that it requires a lot of hard work and discipline. But yes, it is a constant struggle for me. I’ve come a long way in changing my mentality to recognize that I am making lifestyle changes in order to keep the weight off.

    I’m sure the compliment that you got the other day really boosted your confidence. It feels great when people genuinely notice the difference. I used to dream of going on that show “What Not to Wear” because I definitely don’t know how to dress to flatter my body, but clothing can make all the difference in how you look and feel. Biz, I think you should go buy yourself a size 10 girl! Have an awesome day!

  3. Hi Biz,
    I have read your blog for a while but don’t know if I’ve ever commented. I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your blog and how much you inspire me. I am a WWer too and I get a lot of good ideas from you. I only wish I could be as organized and motivated as you! Thanks for blogging and sharing it all with us 🙂 I may make the chili tonight!

  4. A frozen dinner over some of Biz’s goodness? Thats just crazy! Glad you got in and rocked the gym yesterday morning. Mondays are tough! Makes me grateful I teach Body Pump first thing Monday morning- I HAVE to be there ;). And the chili…just delicious. I need to make another batch! I am sometimes emotionally driven to eat…usually when I have way too much going on (I guess its that odd way of having SOMETHING I can control!)

  5. I am a total planner when it comes to eating – unless I get emotional and then I’m an emotional overeater, for sure. It’s something I’ve cut way back on and have tried to become very aware of. I think I can say most of the time I have that under control but once in a while emotions do get the best of me. Too bad I’m not perfect otherwise I’d be a skinny supahstar!!

  6. You can make it Biz! I think I am definitely an emotional eater, good and bad – but trying to stay my own course and not get swayed by food temptations. There are always going to be those! Love you, your sista

  7. My gym has two walls with floor to ceiling windows. I like watching the sunrise while workout out. It’s a great way to start the day.

    You did a good job to figure out the reasons for gaining weight.

  8. You do inspire. Yourself and others.

  9. Such beautiful Fall pictures! Great job on exercising twice – you are so active and bizzy!

    That chili looks amazing and I have never made one quite like that so I will give it a try . I like that you use chicken breasts and process them yourself – you are one smart cookie!

    I am a big time emotional eater, it’s always something I deal with – sigh.

  10. I’ve never been a bedtime snacker, but I’m definitely an emotional eater. Without a doubt. I still struggle with it every day. But at least now I know and recognize when it starts to happen.
    Great job on the exercise – you are on FIRE!!

  11. You were an exercise FIEND yesterday. Woo hoo!

    I had insomnia last night, so I ended up finally giving up on sleep and I went to the gym at 2:30 am. Not very many people there at that time. Just me until about 2:50 am. Then 3 more guys showed up.

  12. Argh! Don’t offer your boss any of your delicious food!!! She doesn’t deserve it and does not appreciate it!!! Sorry. But she doesn’t!!! /rant over.

    You’re doing great with the exercise – it takes a lot of willpower to get out of a nice warm bed and to to the gym, so major kudos to you for doing it! 🙂

  13. You’re doing great! It’s sooo hard to get out of bed when it’s dark outside. I am definitely making the chili–the hot as balls version! Sounds amazing.

  14. Tony is a great hubby 🙂 I think it’s so important to do things for yourself and not because others thing you should. (My husband is like Tony – he would probably still think I was beautiful if I was 200 pounds. We met when I was at my heaviest weight anyway.)

    When I went to college I thought that it would be a good idea to eat all the things that I wanted, in huge quantities – like peanut m&ms (party bag for 1) and dessert for meals. My weight has been up and down since then. Now I’m probably mostly an emotional and boredom eater. I am fine during the day, but I have far too many late night snacks. But it seems like I am so “good” because for 70% of the day I am!! It’s just night that screws it up.

  15. You are doing great with the bed time snacks Biz! 🙂 Also nice job getting out of bed and working out this morning. Definitely a motivation for me today!

  16. Oh man, hit me up with some spice mama!!!! I love it spicy 🙂

  17. I think Tony would love you no matter what you weigh forever.

    It’s amazing how we cloak ourselves in fat and food instead of loving ourselves. It is so much easier to lose weight and keep it off (the more important thing) when we accept ourselves and the wonderful people we already are!

  18. I’m very proud of you too! And so grateful to you for your encouragement and your wonderful recipes!!!

    I used to be an emotional eater- regardless of the emotion (anger, sadness, boredom, excitement, etc…) I would eat. Now, not so much! It’s taken ,me many years to get here, but I think I’ve finally arrived. I no longer turn to food. Thankfully!

  19. I’m a total emotional eater. When life gets crazy, I turn to my buddies Ben and Jerry (sounds kind of risque). I also like to scarf carbs when I’m bored. Totally NOT cute!

  20. Those husbands are so convincing. You must resist 6:00 a.m. snuggles!

    🙂 Marion

  21. I understand emotional eating only because my best friend from childhood would comfort herself by over eating. I watched her do it for years, and although it took me too long to understand why she ate the way she did, I never cared about her habits or her consumption because we were best friends. She was one of the loveliest women I have ever known and had the best laugh.

    She developed diabetes but. sadly, never took care of herself in a responsible way [like you and others do bizzy] and it ended her life. It has been 8 years and I still am sad when I think of her.

    I wish I knew wayyyy back then what I know now.

    Bravo on getting out of bed. I hate to get out of bed when it is still dark, but I am so proud of you that you did. And what a lovely morning you had. I want that egg sammie. Looks so good.

    Have a great one Bizzy – and thank you for you. I mean that.

  22. Honestly, I don’t know what’s going on with my body. I’m thinking once we get a house and past the wedding and everything settled I’m going to go to the doctor for a full check up. At this point I think it might be something hormonal, or something else wrong. No matter WHAT I do, my weight only goes up. I’ve eaten healthy for weeks, I’ve exercised, I worked my ASS OFF this summer on my feet running around a kitchen 10 hour days, I’ve used slim fast, I’ve tried starving myself JUST to see if I could get the scale to move. I’ve cut out soda, I’ve cut out bread, I’ve cut out all eating out. I don’t know. I was on medication for a year that had weight gain side effect, but I went off of that 3 months ago. It should be out of my system by now. I’m just so discouraged and upset and annoyed. The scale is constantly moving in the WRONG direction!!!!!

  23. Tony is wonderful, and is a very smart man for reminding you how beautiful you are on a daily basis! Gorgeous sunrise, the sun’s just peaking over the horizon when I get on the train…so mid-way through the ride it becomes blinding and I’m so glad NOT to be driving into it!

    The chili looks delish, and now I kind of wish we were having chili for dinner…biscuits and gravy will have to do! 🙂

  24. i know i emotionally eat sometimes…but even more, i hormonally eat! i’m serious! i think it’s lovely though that you lost weight for yourself and found tony…such a sure sign that making good smart decisions can only lead to the best things!!

  25. I blogged about fat being my protection a couple years ago. It is amazing how we use it to “protect” ourselves. Time for all of us to face that and face life head on!

  26. Thank you for following my crazy journey and for your wonderful support, Biz! As you know, I am definitely an emotional eater. I use food as a way to disconnect. I’ve been doing it for so many years that it’s now a habit. It’s going to take a long time to undo the damage, but I’m finally in a place where I’m ready to do the work!

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts on weight, too. It helps us all to know we are not alone 🙂

  27. I’m a planner, but DEFINITELY a boredom eater – need to work on that!

  28. You know how much someone truly cares for you when weight isn’t an issue. It’s sad that so many people can’t see past extra pounds, or too few pounds, even when they completely click with the person on so many levels. You and Tony are luck to have found each other 🙂 And it’s so great to have someone in your corner, no matter what you are going through.

  29. I wish I read this yesterday – I needed a little Biz buzzing in my ear this morning when I rolled over & turned off my alarm this morning instead of getting up for a run.

    I can relate to your story about your weight gain. I know my reason – I just need to face the demons.

  30. Good for you, all the healthy choices you’ve been making. It’s amazing how those little things do add up. Great job 🙂

  31. I wasn’t going to go to the gym yesterday. It was raining and yucky outside and I was feeling very lazy….then I read this post, and I got my ass out of the chair, got my little man ready to go, and went to the GYM! Thanks Biz! You don’t realize how much of an inspiration you are to others! (Of course, I might have cursed you a little when I woke up with sore muscles this morning. LOL. Just kidding – being sore means I actually did something, and that’s a good thing!)

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