Worst Date Ever . . . Go

My eats were pretty random yesterday for breakfast and lunch – check out my thrown together in 1 minute 8 point breakfast.  I’ve been rationing my MIL’s pumpkin bread from Christmas – its so good – thanks again Bonnie!  It was definitely the star of breakfast. 😀

Yesterday was our last nice day – it was 52 degrees when I went on my walk/run of 45 minutes – I like this picture because the tree looks like hair coming out of my head. 😀

Gorgeous weather – no need for a jacket either.

And for lunch?  While I had more chili in the fridge I wasn’t feeling it, so I used part of a Subway gift card I had in my wallet and had a turkey melt (part of the 7 grams of fat section) – it was delicious because I asked for extra hot peppers. 😀  And they have a new chip I haven’t seen before – light Lays that are cooked in Olestra – so no fat – this whole bag was only 2 points, so lunch was 10 WW points.

But dinner?  That’s another story – this was delicious!  I have this lady to thank for the inspiration for this dinner – while I didn’t make her mushroom burgers, I followed her spinach sauce to a T (except no onions!).  This makes a regular old burger taste like a steak house restaurant burger!

Creamed Spinach Sauce (makes 2 cups – each serving 1/2 cup for 104 calories, 7 fat, 8 carbs, .8 fiber and 3 protein, or 3 WW points per serving).

Ingredients

Directions

  1. Melt the butter over medium low heat. Stir the flour into butter and cook one minute.
  2. Whisk in the half and half, broth, salt and pepper to taste, cayenee and nutmeg. Bring the sauce to a simmer, reduce the heat and simmer for 2 minutes, until sauce begins to thicken.
  3. Add the spinach, stirring until wilted. Mix in the Parmesan and lemon juice – season again with salt and pepper to taste, and add a splash more half and half if its too thick.
  4. Serve over burgers and garlic toast.

My dinner with a 2 point toast on the bottom, 6 point (4 ounces 90% lean beef) burger and the spinach sauce comes in at 11 WW points.

Trust me, there is a burger hidden under this spinach deliciousness! 😀  The crusty bread soaked up the sauce, I added crushed red pepper to my burger patty so it had a nice kick – delish.

So why the title of this post?  The night before last Tony and I watched the last half of the movie Fargo.  I love that movie – I love William H. Macy, the Fargo accents.   But what the movie also reminds me of is the worst date I ever had.

Let’s flash back to 1996, shall we?  Hannah was 4.  She had a friend that lived down the street named Kelsey.  Kelsey’s mom was always trying to set me up on a date with guys she knew.  I always said no – Kelsey’s mom used to let her dogs eat the ice out of the bottom of the freezer every time she opened it up, so I never thought I could trust her judgment in men.

She kept pestering though about one guy she thought would be perfect for me.  Turns out he was a plumber.  I finally agreed to go on a double date with her and her baby’s daddy for dinner and a movie.

Day of date – Kelsey’s mom calls me and says “I know you are going to love Rugs!”  I said “who the hell is Rugs?”  And she starts laughing.  Um, turns out my date has a bad hair piece and his nick name is Rugs.  Awesome.

But being the glass half full kinda gal that I am, I went into the date with an open mind.  That is until I walked in the door to meet my date.  In 1996 I was 28 years old.  My date standing across the room?  He looked about 43 years old – mind you, I am 43 years old now, so we all know that is not old – but from my 28 year old eyes, he was old!  And he was missing a couple teeth – one on the top and one on the bottom.

Still, I had an open mind.  Back then I was such a picky eater.  We ended up going to a restaurant that had a tapas menu, which scared me because I was afraid I wouldn’t like anything.  One dish comes to the table – small crab cakes, shrimp cocktail, oysters and a couple other pieces of seafood – and next to it was a small plate accessories for this dish – like shrimp cocktail, etc.

I see something in the middle that I am not able to identify.  I ask my date “could you try that and tell me what it is?”  He tastes it, looks at me and says “its crab meat.”  I summoned all my courage up, took a fork full of the crab, put it in my mouth, and instantly knew this wasn’t crab.  Wanna know what it was?  Horseradish!

And my date also smoked about 20 cigarettes during dinner and really only talked to baby daddy, so I basically had a dinner date with Kelsey’s mom. 😦

After dinner we ended up going to see Fargo in the movie theater.  I loved the movie but really couldn’t wait to get home.  So we get back to my friends house, which is literally at the end of the block I lived on, yet my date insisted on driving me home.

I was like “I can see my house from here, I am good.”  But he insists its the gentlemanly (is that a word?) thing to do to drive me home.  Okay fine.  He opens the passenger side of his van – um, the seat is nothing but a bunch of broken springs with a bath towel tossed over the top – he tells me “you can sit on the edge just fine.”  I look around the van while he gets in the drivers seat – there were probably 100 cigarette butts in the ashtray.

We drive the 50 feet home, and he parks the car and turns off the ignition.  Shit.  He then asks if I want to go on a second date with him – guess what he wanted to do?  He wanted to pick me up at 3:30 a.m. in the morning to go smelt fishing on Lake Michigan.  No thanks.

He proceeded to call me for a couple weeks, but I always gave him an excuse on why I couldn’t meet him.  Mostly because these are some of the lines of conversation he told me:

The best part about living alone is that I can leave my dishes in the sink for three weeks and no one yells at me to clean up.

When are you going to come over and cook for me?

I don’t belong to the plumbers union because I can’t afford the dues (which at the time we about $2 a day – or a pack of smokes that he could somehow afford).”

So what was your worst date . . . Go!

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51 thoughts on “Worst Date Ever . . . Go

  1. Ugh. I met this guy online years and years ago, and we went on a date downtown. We went to Ben Pao for dinner, and he refused to let me take my leftovers home because he’d paid for them. I went up to his condo for a “drink” and when I saw that his entire place (carpet, furniture, walls, everything) were stark white…except his bedroom, which had a giant collection of teddy bears

  2. OH MY! That is by far the worst date ever! I can’t think of any, so they certainly won’t compare to that story. What a hot mess… And seriously Kelsey’s Mom thought this guy would be perfect for you? She was high, right? 😀

  3. bahhahahahahha. Wow. Yes, your friend had bad taste …to say the least! What a crazy date. That pumpkin bread looks awesome. I haven’t had too many BAD dates. The only weird weird date is this guy who acted like he was ready to get married at the end of our first date. I must say…that was our last date!

  4. That last comment was me

  5. Are you and Kelsey still friends? = )

    I would not peg you for a picky eater as you are very adventuresome in what you put together for meals.

    Snowing there yet? I “ordered” some snow for my birthday today!!

    Best,
    Bonnie

  6. That definitely was the worst date EVER! What the hell was up with Kelsey’s mom? Seriously, who sets a friend up with a guy like that?

    I love FARGO for the same reasons you do! I found it hilarious!

  7. There’s a radio show where I live that has people call in with stories like this and then they give a gift certificate to a nice restaurant to the winner so they can go on a good date. Too bad you don’t live around here!

  8. Wow, that’s awful!

    I don’t think I’ve had any really bad dates. If I did, they were so long ago, that I forgot.

  9. I can’t top that worst date, LOL – you poor thing! Actually, I really can’t think of a bad date – but then, I was engaged at 20, so it’s not like I did a lot of that…

  10. OMG that’s insane!! I have to admit that your story made me laugh!

  11. Oh.my.god. That is by far the worst date I have ever heard of, Biz! What the HELL was your friend Kelsey thinking???? No words…. I am traumatized by this story. 😉

  12. I can’t even believe that is a true story!!!! I mean I believe you, but what a crazy. The fact that he actually thought the date went well enough to keep asking you out is the most hysterical part.

  13. Whoa, that’s so weird! My worst date ever was with a 43-year old, toothless woman named Rugs.

  14. I can’t even think of my worst date story right now because I am cracking up at yours! Oh and I have creamed spinach on the brain now too….

    🙂

  15. Oh my god, that’s hiliarious! I think you remember my worst date ever since it recently happened!

    Read about it here: http://www.gettogoal-amanda.blogspot.com/2011/12/was-i-being-punked.html

    Then read my current blog post here and do what it says to help me win! Haha!
    http://www.gettogoa-amanda.blogspot.com

  16. That is the worst date ever!! I was mortified for you just reading it! My worst date was right before I met Chris, I went out with a guy, I can’t even remember his name – Alvin maybe? We decided to go to a local indoor amusement park – it has an arcade, mini golf and a restaurant/bar area. Things were going fine until we hit the mini golf section and he FLIPPED out when his shoe got scuffed on one of the walls around the “Green.” The rest of the night, that’s all I heard about was his scuffed shoe – and at one point he suggested I pay for it! So then he drove me home, in his car that didn’t have heat, and we had to ride with the windows down since it was a cool summer night and us just breathing was fogging up the windows as we drove. I did a quick hug at the door and escaped into my house – only to start getting calls/text messages a couple hours later asking when I wanted to go out again, how he thought we were going to be “the one” and so on! Um, creepy!! Needless to say we didn’t go out again 🙂

  17. Love that story! I just snorted while reading it. Are you still friends with Kelsey’s mom?

  18. LOL – that was so funny. I didn’t have too many dates, and they weren’t that bad, really.

    Those olestra chips. Ick. They leave such a funny coating in my mouth. Also – warning not to eat to many of them. They aren’t fat free, your body just can’t digest the form of fat that Olestra is, so it will come out in the end!

  19. I haven’t really had any bad dates that I can remember, or maybe I just blocked them out. Yours sounds terrible enough for the both of us 🙂

  20. I never really was the dating type. I think maybe my worst story was becoming somewhat talkative/involvedish with a guy and hanging out with him several times before learning he was like 16 or 17 (I think I was like 20 at the time). It really freaked me out. haha Thinking about it now 3 or 4 years isn’t a big age gap, but at that point in your life it is HUGE.

    • OMG Christina – I laughed out loud at the thought of you trying to pick up a 16 year old as a 20 year old – you are right – at that age, that is a big difference!

  21. Can’t think of a bad date here [I think I blocked them all] but I did have a persistent suitor who I got in the weirdest way.

    I was driving back to the office on my lunch break one day and stopped for a red light. A guy coming off the exit ramp never slowed down and slammed into the back of me. I had on my seatbelt but he hit me hard enough that my head hit the steering wheel and my glasses broke. When we got out to survey the damage he said [screamed] “Why were you stopped there? NO ONE ever stops at that light.” and then realizing he was at fault he started to cry, pointed at his car [which was crammed full of ALL of his worldly possessions] and sobbed “I just broke up with my girlfriend. I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention.”

    No kidding Sherlock.

    We had to exchange information so his insurance could pay for my now totalled car, but do you know that he called my home, day & night, crying about how much he missed his girlfriend, had no place to live [could he live with me?] and how we would make such a great couple – wouldn’t this be a wonderful story to tell our grandkids?

    This went on for a few week until I began dating Pooldad. On our second date Pooldad was waiting in my living room waiting for me to finish getting ready when bozo called. P/D picked up the phone and nicely told the doob to stop harassing HIS girlfriend. Have I mentioned that my gorgeous husband has an incredibly deeeeep voice? Yep. Bozo never called again. I always wondered what happened to him.

    Sorry that was long, but it still makes me laugh. 🙂

  22. I’ve dated my share of losers, but I think you dated their leader! LOL I think my window of dating was too small to really have any good stories. I went to college at 18 (my parents didn’t let me date before then) and met and then married my husband at 21/22. I think my husband has a story about a woman who kept hitting on him at a bar, but he was too busy cracking up because tufts of her hair kept falling out. I’m so grateful to be married when I hear stories like this. The dating pool’s got a lot of floaters!

  23. O.M.G.!!!!!

    My worst date was in high school, it was a pity date and I fake puked after 15 minutes so I could go home!!! It was horrifying!

  24. That is hysterical!!
    Oh gosh, I have had some bad ones! Where do I begin. This one guy I dated had a weird foot fetish. I am not into feet..AT ALL! Anyway, one time during a movie (in a theater mind you), he took off my shoe and started rubbing my foot!! My coworkers always joked that I was going to play footsie with him when I had a date. Wasn’t the worst..just really awkward and funny!

    That spinach sauce looks incredible, by the way!

  25. lol…THAT really was the date from hell! I don’t really have a worst date story. I guess I was too picky to give many men a chance to ruin my record! lol BUT Fargo….LOVE! Top number two movie EVER right next to Forrest Gump!

  26. I don’t have any terrible date stories, but I do have a few funny dating related stories.

    1. In Asheville, I went out on a date with this guy who went on and on and ON about how he didn’t like girls who wore glasses…and I was wearing my glasses. Awkward.

    2. Once, with my ex, I was really upset over something & being sort of irrational and freaking out that his whole family hated me. To comfort me he said, “no, they don’t all hate you. Just my mom & my aunt & my grandma” and proceeding to outline why. Needless to say, we broke up a month later.

  27. Wow, that is a bad date! Funny though 🙂

    I don’t really have any bad date stories, I guess that’s what happens when you have all your dates in high school and then marry the guy you’ve been with since 17. Ha!

  28. Hahahah BIZ! All of your recent posts have me cracking up (like the picture of you as a chipmunk) but this one definitely takes the cake!
    I’ve never had a date as horrid as yours, but I’ve definitely had a few duds!
    The first time I went out with this particular guy, he put his arm around me for the first time, missed my shoulder.. and hit my face instead. I had a big old bloody lip! I went on to seriously date this guy, and it only went downhill from there.
    Eventually, i listened to my mom’s advice and moved on 😉

  29. ps that burger looks SO GOOD. but i think my dad would disown me as his daughter if i put spinach on his burger..

  30. Oh my gosh Biz, I am dying laughing over here!!! One of the best worst date stories ever! I married my hubby not too long after high school, so I didn’t really go on too many dates. But the first time I met my husband, I was actually meeting up with his best friend, as a pseudo date (we’d already kissed) and my husband kept trying to convince him to flirt with other girls. And not because my future husband wanted me for himself. Yeah, the first time I met my husband, I hated him 🙂

  31. Can’t say I’ve had any serious disaster dates like that one. There have been not so stellar dates, but mostly because the guy was just a douche. Oh dating – why must you be so complicated?

    Olestra creeps me out. It’s not permitted to be used in products in Canada, and I think it’s a good thing. That stuff will give you the runs!

  32. Whew what a story Biz. Thanks for sharing.

    I only had a handful of dates before Husband and I hit it off. I did waste my first kiss on a guy that smoked and his breath reeked and his lips had the consistency of cold wet fish. I came home from that date and used a lot of Scope.

  33. That seriously is a terrible date! I haven’t had a worse date for as far as I can remember.

    Don’t let yourself get fooled by light chips. Recently I’ve been reading a lot about light products and light chips usually contains more carbs because of the less fat. Personally I think you can better eat the real stuff but less of it. The taste is better too in my opinion. I don’t buy light products anymore.

  34. I’ve been with my husband since I was 17, so I never have an awesomely bad date story. I love reading them, though! Thanks for the good laugh this morning!

  35. Biz- I WAS the worst date once. On date number two, I ate something at the restaurant that I was allergic to. IT went right through me, cramps, and the trots. We were on a double date. I excused myself from the table to go, ahem. Then we had to drive back through the ARMY post at 15 mph, that was the limit, when I felt Mt. Vesuvius start up again in my guts. I started breathing like I was in labor, he he ha ha, over and over. Now he is looking at me like I am a freak, I am pouring with sweat and white. I say, “can you go any faster?” No. Now I am on the floor of the front seat with my head on the seat, (a Corvette) writhing in pain begging to go faster. No, he didn’t want to get a ticket. We finally get to the friends house and I go, and I mean go. Then he wants to use the potty and I say, If you want to live to tomorrow, don’t go in there. He did an about face. I was mortified and hated having IBS. But you know what? He married me anyway!

  36. Best bad date story ever, Biz! Worst date was with my first boyfriend. I showed up at his place b/c we had arranged to meet, and he proceeded to ignore me completely while he played video games. Didn’t offer me water or anything or even talk to me. I left in tears and he didn’t’ even notice. You tell me why I dated him for eight months after that b/c I have no clue!

  37. i am just catching up and now laughing out loud at work! what a terrible date…you absolutely have me beat!

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