And Then There Were Two. RIP Eddie!

Wow.  Just wow,  Thank you for all your comments and emails yesterday about the loss of our dog.  Tony and I tried to read most of them yesterday, but it was just too hard.  I have to say that yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life.

The vet told us to call him at 5:00 so he could tell us when the last appointment was so that Ed could be the only animal there.  He was scared of the vet, even though our vet is like a dog whisperer – he always put his face on Ed’s body during appointments.

All day long though Tony and I kept looking at the clock.  I had knots in my stomach all day.  I tried to keep busy.  I started to make a pork stew for our dinner, and every time I got out the cutting board and a knife, that was Ed’s cue to sit near me in the kitchen.  He knew I was a sucker and would always give him snacks.

But truth be told Ed was Tony’s dog.  Tony’s always worked from home, so they spent the most time together.  And he only listened to Tony.  When he was young, I’d let him out before I went to work and when it was time to leave, I couldn’t find him anywhere.  We have woods behind our back yard, and invariably I’d have to climb through there and I’d see Ed three lots over.  I’d yell his name, even yell “I’ll give you a treat!”

He wouldn’t budge.  I’d come in the house, and Tony would either yell “Ed!” or just whistle, and the dog would come running back.

I was the one who took him on walks.  When he was younger I could run with him.  We’d go to the trails and walk the paths – the smells and sounds made him so happy.  About two years ago we went on our normal two mile walk, and by the time we got back to the car, he didn’t have any energy to get in the car.

His hips were failing, so our walks became shorter and shorter.  His seizures started getting more frequent, and we knew we didn’t want to watch him suffer.  We adopted him 12 1/2 years ago, and he was anywhere from 1 1/2 to 3 years old, so he could have been 15 years old!

We called the vet.  5:40 was the appointed time.  We swear he knew something was up.  While Ed likes to be near you, he wasn’t a lap dog or overly touchy.  Yesterday he came to both of us and put his head in our laps.

We had no idea what to expect once we got there.  This was my first dog, and Tony was never present at the passing of his other dogs.  Just one day they were there, and the next they weren’t.

Ed had been fine all day, even playful with his toys and we started second guessing our decision.  Until we took him outside to get in the car.  He started breathing really hard and foaming at the mouth – that made our decision just a touch more easier.

The vet explained it was one shot.  It takes anywhere for 15 seconds to 60 seconds for the dog to lose consciousness, and then up to a minute for his heart to stop.  He said that when dogs die their eyes stay open, and that they might have an involuntary muscle spasm, but that it was just a reaction, not the dog actually moving.

With tears streaming down both our faces, we watched our dog become peaceful and still.  And then he was gone.  The vet gave us a few minutes alone with him and then we paid our bill and left.

I was happy I made dinner earlier in the day, so we could just heat it up and eat and not have to think about it.  I knew I wanted comfort food, so I made a stew.  However, I used pork stew meat vs. beef stew meat – it’s usually on sale for only $1.99 a pound.

Pork Stew

  • makes 6, 1.5 cups servings
  • 264 calories, 5.6 fat, 33 carbs, 5.3 fiber, 20 protein and 640 mg sodium

Ingredients:

  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1 pound of pork stew meat, fat trimmed
  • 3 cups chicken broth
  • 1 28 oz. can crushed tomatoes
  • 1/4 cup flour
  • 1/2 pound of carrots, peeled and chopped
  • 1 pound of potatoes, peeled and cubed
  • 1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
  • salt and pepper

Heat the oil in a large stock pot.  Heat oven to 325.  Toss the pork meat with salt, pepper and 1 tablespoon of the flour.  In batches, brown the meat and set aside.  Add 1/2 a cup of chicken broth to the pot, and scrap up any brown bits.  Add the remaining flour and cook, stirring constantly for 1 minute.

Add in the rest of the ingredients.  Put the browned meat back in and bake, uncovered, for 90 minutes.

When I reached into our bag of potatoes, the first two potatoes were in the shape of hearts!

ed 006

ed 009

ed 022

We had stew, crusty bread and wine for dinner.  I stepped over Ed’s toys going back and forth from the kitchen.  I saw a black blanket on the floor that I had to do a double take.  When I was cleaning the kitchen, I looked over at Ed’s water dish that was nearly empty and reached for the cup to refill it, only to stop myself. 

I have to thank Rachel for this poem she emailed me.  If you’ve ever lost a pet, I hope this helps you.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

Thanks again for all your virtual hugs!  Tony and I appreciate it!  Hugs!

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43 thoughts on “And Then There Were Two. RIP Eddie!

  1. So feeling it with you. And I didn’t need to read that poem, because the vet sent it to us after we had to put our dog down. I would just cry again.

  2. Oh Biz, *hugs*. My heart goes out to you and Tony. I’m sure Ed knows how much you two loved him. Thank you for letting us be a part of your lives.

  3. Rough day, and there will still be some ahead…you can’t live with a dog for that long and not get the shock of coming home and him not being there to greet you. But it was the right thing to do, and I’m glad you guys were able to give Ed that. Hang in there…it will get better. Hugs, again.

  4. I’m crying over here. I have lost my dog 3 years ago and this brings back memories. I had the same thing as you at the first night: seeing things that belonged to her.

    Ed had a good life, for a big dog he got very old, that’s a sign he was surrounded by love.
    Take care Biz and Tony.

  5. I’m going to be honest…I could only read the first few paragraphs of this post. The tears were about to explode out of my eyes and I have to finish working haha. My heart is with you both. SO Much love

  6. I’m so sorry Biz! I can’t even bring myself to read either of your last two posts because just the line or two that I caught on both have brought me to tears. Big hugs – I’m sending all the good vibes I can your way. Eddie is so happy running around in doggie heaven!

  7. I feel so sad for you and Tony. We have lost two precious dalmatians. They were in their teens but it was so very difficult. Thinking of them at “The Rainbow Bridge” always gave me comfort. If you’re not familiar with it, look it up. I hope it helps.

    Best,
    Bonnie

  8. Sending lots of love to you. Putting down an animal is one of the most difficult things that I have ever had to do. Sending hugs to both of you!

  9. Oh Biz, i’m so so sorry… losing a pet is pretty much the hardest thing ever. I’m thinking about you and Tony, and I know that our Raven is keeping Eddie company!!

  10. findingradiance

    Pets are such a part of the family. There will be a grieving process and that’s okay to cry a lot. Ed really lived a very long life. I think that says a lot about how well you took care of him.

  11. Reading your post gave me goosebumps and I literally have tears in my eyes as I’m typing this. I’ve only ever had one dog in my life and I was 6 when he passed away so I don’t remember much. What I think is super cute, and uplifting, though, are those heart-shaped potatoes. 🙂

  12. I’m so sory to read this Biz. Losing a pet is hard.

  13. Tears tears tears!. Hold tight to the good times you had with Ed, all the times he made you smile, the times he made you so mad when he wouldn’t come in from the woods for you but would for Tony, the times you spent on the trails, the way he looked at you when you fed him table scraps.. He will always be on your mind,

  14. Holding you guys in my prayers!

  15. I used to run an animal shelter, and so I have had to see far too many animals put down, including my own. I loved my job, loved working with animals…but every day that I had to bring an animal to the vet to be euthanized, and that was most days, I went home with an unbearable ache in my chest. Ultimately, this is why I stopped working with animals and got into health care.

    I respect your decision not to allow Ed to suffer. Not enough people are selfless enough to do so. Truth be told, you never completely get over the loss of a beloved pet. My dog Kodiak was put down almost 10 years ago, and I still think of her every single time that I see a hot dog. They were her favourite treat. 🙂

    Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

  16. Oh my….I still miss my Hyko. Reading that poem brought tears to my eyes. It is so hard to watch a dog die. When we put Hyko down two months ago, he had lost so much weight and didn’t want to eat or take his medications. We thought maybe he might rally like he did so many other times, but this time he didn’t. I know that feeling, looking at the clock knowing you are taking him in for his appointed time. We took Kylie in also, so she could say good-by….dogs just seem to know, Kylie sat by the door wanting to leave and for a couple of weeks she looked for him, waiting for him to go with her outside. You’ll look for Ed many times, his toys and blanket and going for walks, everything he did, will bring tears to your eyes. It all goes with the grieving.

    Ed is in Doggie Heaven now, romping around in the fields of gold, happy-go-lucky and running free with no pain and no more seisures. You did the right thing. Gather all his pictures and make a scrapbook to remember him by. I have Hyko on my screensaver so in a way, he is still with us.

    Maybe down the road you’ll get another doggie, there are many that need to be rescued and adopted into good homes.

  17. Tears streaming down my face! What a beautiful poem. Having just lost our Duke last month, it really hits home:)

  18. Oh wow I’ve never had pets, but your story of Ed’s last day and that poem has me in tears. I am so sorry for your and Tony’s loss. I’ll be thinking of you.

  19. Oh my gosh, I’m balling over here. Someone sent my sister that same poem.

  20. Oh, Biz, what a day you had. Sending tons of love your way!

  21. *hugs* So sorry for your loss Biz!!

  22. I am so, so sorry to hear about Eddie. Pets just make a house a home and I hate that you guys are having to go through this. (hugs) 😦

  23. Here’s another virtual hug….((( )))

  24. I am glad he went peacefully and you were both there with him. Sending lots more hugs and I am sure Ed is having a blast over the Rainbow Bridge.

  25. Biz!
    I’m so sorry Dobby and I send you hugs and kisses. I have already started panicking that someday my (3 year old) poodle will be gone. XoXo

  26. Oh man, I’m a slobbering snotty mess now!! I’m so, so sorry to hear about Eddie! I always loved seeing him in your posts. I grew up with a big black lab, so I loved seeing him and his begging faces and pics! Huge hugs and love sent to you and Tony! I’m going to go hug Corky extra extra tight today.

  27. Oh my gosh. I am so very, very sorry (says the woman who killed a hamster with a Le Creuset Dutch Oven). No, really.

    Sorry I’m so late to this–I have my snotty, germ-ridden kids to blame, but I wish I could have offered you support sooner. ((you and Tony))

  28. I’m so sorry to hear about Ed’s passing. Hugs to you and Tony.

  29. Oh my gosh, this had the tears flowing. We lost one of our dogs last year, he was 15 and went peacefully in his sleep. I have not had to do what you guys went through. Again, I’m so sorry and you both will remain in my prayers…xoxo!

  30. Sorry to hear about Ed! Hope you’re both doing ok.

  31. I am so sorry for you and Tony. Thinking of you!

  32. melissalikestoeat

    I’m so sorry. I really feel for you. I always had pets growing up and their lose was so difficult.

  33. I’m tearing up! I am really sorry for you and Tony’s loss. May Ed rest in peace.

    P.S. The heart shaped potatoes SO made me smile. I’m glad they were in your potato bag.

  34. Oh, I’m all teary now. So so sorry for your loss, but it does sound like you made the right choice. It is so hard to lose those we love! Hugs from here in California!

  35. Two days in a row you made me cry. RIP Eddie. Big hugs, Biz and Tony.

  36. I’m not reading blogs right now but I just had to come to yours. My heart is breaking, just breaking for your loss. My sweetie pie is 8 years old and we’re noticing she likes to be let out more, rather than using the doggie door, and we think it’s just one more sign of age (she also takes much shorter walks now, though we still go for about an hour in the winter). We know we have quite a few good years left with her and I’m grateful that we get so long (usually) to adjust to the eventual loss, but it really isn’t all that much easier for the preparation, is it? I’m so so sorry, and I love that poem and am glad it brings you some comfort. I also hope it comforts you to know that Ed had his best possible life here with you guys, much better than many dogs’ lives. Bless you and may God comfort you during your grief. ❤

  37. How you could make dinner after that is beyond me. I would have been a true basket case and just curled up in a ball. We have never had to put a pet down but loss two at home and that was so hard (and in all honesty, we should have put them down). You are brave souls and I am still sending good thoughts your way.

  38. susancsvintageboutique

    Tears over here as well. So sorry for your loss Biz. Your dog is at peace now and happy and whole over at the rainbow bridge.

  39. Oh Biz, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Eddie. I can’t even imagine such an ordeal. You are both so brave, and I am positive Ed is in a happy and peaceful place. Big hugs to you!

  40. […] I wish to express my sincere sympathy over the loss of your pet, Ed. […]

  41. […] I finally cleared out Eddie’s toys, put his cage and dishes in the basement.  It was too hard some days to see his toys on […]

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